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Mr. Toupe

Rocky Point Park, winter

It’s that time of year again! Everywhere you look there are ads reminding you to feel guilty about all the fun you had during the holiday season.

New Years is a really crappy time to take up running. It’s cold, wet and miserable, demanding a ridiculous amount of commitment so it’s no small surprise that most people quit within a few weeks of starting.

I grew up in a public park, which was an excellent stage to view this in action. Every year at the beginning of January we would see people out in droves, braving the rain, wind and cold, walking, jogging or something similar. Most were nowhere to be found by February. We’d place bets to see who would last the longest, and often we’d be right.

So one year quite a while back it began like any other. Every day we were visited by a gradually declining population of would-be runners. In their midst was a man who we began to refer to as Mr. Toupe. He was morbidly obese and shuffled down the sidewalk with great difficulty, the sweat pouring out from underneath his artificial hairpiece.

At the beginning of the year it seemed more likely that his attempts at running would cause him to keel over and die than lose weight.

But day after day he returned. And as people began to drop out, he persisted. His shuffling became walking and then jogging. Gradually he began to lose weight. Contrary to all expectations, by the end of the year he was jogging around with ease, at a very normal looking weight.

Every year around this time I think about him.

A hairpiece tip to you, Mr. Toupe. I hope that wherever you are you are still your goal weight.

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